News
Dispatches from the store - policies, restocks, and things we probably shouldn't have announced.
2026-02-28Staff Picks for This QuarterWhat the Emporium clerks are personally recommending right now, and why you should be suspicious.2026-02-14Shipping and Delivery, ExplainedHow Emporium gets your paradoxical goods to your door, more or less.2026-02-03Introducing the Emporium Loyalty ProgramEarn points for shopping at Emporium. Redeem them for nothing in particular.2026-01-22A Note on Out-of-Stock ItemsWhat it means when Emporium says a paradoxical good is out of stock.2026-01-15Returns and RegretsOur official policy on returns, refunds, and the quiet acceptance of your choices.2026-01-08Emporium Opens Its Doors (Again, For the First Time)A brief history of the store's grand opening, which has technically already happened several times.