Returns and Regrets

Emporium does not accept returns. We do, however, accept regrets, which we file in a large cabinet and never look at again.

Why no returns?

Every item sold at Emporium was exactly what the label said it was. If the Blinker Fluid made your turn signals crisper and more rhythmic, that is not a defect — that is a promise kept. We cannot refund you for a promise we kept.

What if an item is broken?

Bring it back and we will admire it together. Some of our best display pieces started this way.

What if I simply changed my mind?

Then you have grown as a person, and Emporium was part of that journey. No refund covers personal growth.